Billboard

For at least a month now, I've been driving past a billboard that proclaims the impending arrival of Judgement Day. The billboard, courtesy of the folks at Family Radio, guarantees that May 21st is the Day.

Judgement Day. I think that everyone on the planet must have some concept of a final day. The final day. The term itself is evident in most languages, either by translation, or by virtue of being an inherent part of that language.

Anyway, back to the billboard. Like I said, thanks to the billboard, I've been aware of this pronouncement of impending Judgement for some time now. Upon finding out that the billboard is part of an international campaign, I wasn't surprised that the media would pick it up. I also figured that there would be a fair amount of commentary on Facebook about the May 21st crowd.

I expected there would be quite a bit of jeering from non-Christians, though that may seem like a no-brainer, considering the mocking nature of most internet denizens. I was a little taken aback by the mention of proposed "rapture parties" to collectively scoff at the anticipated non-event. I suppose that I really shouldn't be surprised by the Facebook pages and discussion devoted to post-rapture looting and parties. Disappointed - yes, but not surprised.

What I wasn't expecting was the reaction from Christians. I've heard plenty of jeering and mocking and scoffing coming from non-Christians when they're confronted by Christian ideals or concepts. But I was not expecting the same mocking tone to be present in the conversations and Facebook commentary with and by other Christians about Judgement Day being on May 21.

It's not something I can easily put my finger on, or define, but conversations and comments about the folks behind the billboard were almost entirely negative - running the gamut from mocking to outright and vehement disagreement.

Almost without exception, every time I heard about the May 21st prediction from a Christian, I heard that tone that was evident in non-Christian discussion. That worries me.

I'm not going to pretend for a moment that I have figured out all the mysteries of God. I have enough on my plate to determine what He has in mind for my life. But I do know that He wants us to share out of our hearts, the impact that knowing Him has had in our lives.

From what I've read on the Family Radio website, I can't find anything heretical. I can't find anything self-serving. It seems to mostly deal with convincing people that time is short, that the Lord's return is nigh. I honestly don't see any problem with trying to convince people to choose in their hearts whether to follow God or not. Warnings to be vigilant about the return of the Lord are peppered throughout the New Testament.

Why then are these people the subject of so much derision from fellow Christians?

The Family Radio campaign was clearly a major undertaking requiring no small amount of hard work and hard money. I can't look into the hearts of the people behind Family Radio, but to me it seems that they believe passionately in their message. They appear to have responded to their hearts' desires to save their fellow humans from the death that is being apart from God. I can't find fault with that. Much in the same way I can't find fault with the persistent Christian that delivered a message of the Gospel and a Bible to noted atheist Penn Gillette - whose response is here. If you haven't watched this, watch it now, and then consider the message of the Family Radio movement.

These fellow Christians are part of the Body of Christ. I have to believe that they're working out their salvation with fear and trembling as am I. I have to believe that they're peering through the same dark glass. As such, they deserve better than the mockery that sounds more fitting on the lips of unbelievers.

Part I

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Jimmy. Now Jimmy lived in the smallest town around. This town was tiny.

How small was Jimmy's home town? Well, the exact size was up for debate. Partly due to the fact that nobody has ever left the town. Academics would point out that there is a direct relationship between the size of a town, and the number of people who actually leave it. The smaller the town, the fewer people that ever leave. Jimmy's town was so small that nobody could ever remember anybody ever leaving. Furthermore, there are no academics in Jimmy's town.

The town (it had no name - nobody ever called it anything but "town") was, as previously mentioned, miniscule. In fact, it was so small that the circus only came to town once every 30 years.

Now little Jimmy was 7 years old this summer. He looked forward to this summer, not unlike previous summers - with a youthful expectation that is not uncommon to seven year old boys. He would play with his friends, run and hoot and holler. He would catch bugs, and even eat a few. Dirt and mud would be his fast friends. Rabbits would be chased, Kool-Aid would be drunk (despite the previously mentioned diminutive size of the town, there was still Kool-Aid to drink) and the resulting mustaches would be worn with pride.

It was a summer day like many others. The blazing sun had just begun slowly making way for the western horizon, and the town sweltered. Looking for a way to beat the heat, Jimmy and his pals had sought refuge in the big muddy ditch. In a town this small, the entertainment value of mud was not overlooked like it might have been in larger towns. And mud, being part water, is cool, just ask any hippopotamus. Jimmy and his friends, though, were not content to just wallow like our hippopotamus. As usually happens in the big muddy ditch, wallowing turned to mud-slap-tag.

The game broke out like it usually did, when one of Jimmy's friends slapped him on the back of the head with a huge handful of mud. "TAG!! You're IT!!" shouted some unidentifiable mud covered urchin, and the game was on.

As the game picked up and hoots and shouts and splats rang in the air, a strange wind began to blow. Jimmy and his companions didn't know it, but that wind would ultimately change little Jimmy's life forever.

In the middle of another round of mud-slap-tag. The game had suddenly taken a bit of a turn for the worse. One of Jimmy's friends had begun using an un-approved and smelly mud-substitute. Perhaps that was why game lost steam and the muddy combatants stopped their yelling and hooting and slapping. Perhaps it was the strange wind, that transfixed the boys with a strange smell and odd feel. Or perhaps it was the strange yellow papers that the wind brought with it.

One of these papers danced and darted on the strange wind. It's erratic path was noticed by first one boy, then another, and then finally all. They watched as it twirled and looped above their heads. They stood transfixed, watching, pointing, waiting for it to fall. And suddenly it did. The wind that held it aloft didn't just die, it stopped completely, leaving behind a calm and stillness so thick that the boys held their breaths - still watching the strange piece of yellow paper. It wafted back and forth and came to rest in the midst of them all.

One by one the boys walked and shambled up to circle around it - the stillness only broken by the sound of mud sucking on shoes and bare feet. Jimmy reached down and picked it up - carefully, so as not to obscure the fancy writing across the top of the bright yellow page.

"Big Top" it said, and underneath that "100 Wonders From Far Away Lands" below that, in large, ornate letters, the single word...

"CIRCUS"

My Favorite Chuck Norris Facts

Yes, it's true I haven't posted since last October. I blame Facebook... well... Facebook and lack of motivation.

While I'm shoveling out blame, I'll blame this post on Chris.

Enjoy.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly from then on, and wears it still. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, eats hammers and could take a shotgun blast standing.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.


Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima instead of sending in Chuck Norris. The atomic bomb was considered more "humane."

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the $#!+ out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
All of it.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris gave a horse an uppercut.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take crap from anyone.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Tagging along...

Random bits of me, straight ahead. Mind the bumps.

I suppose that this saves you all from a compilation of my favorite Chuck Norris facts.

Here are the rules:
1.Post the rules on your blog
2.Write 6 random things about yourself
3.Tag 6 people at the end of your post
4.If you are tagged, just do it, and pass the tag along!

1. In 1990-91, I had the pleasure to finish out high school in St. Andrews Scotland. This random fact is not really about Scotland, or high school.

Since that time, every time I've gone to give blood, my donation has been politely turned down. When I ask why, I'm told that it's because I've been exposed to Mad Cow Disease.

I'm not terribly put off by this, as I have a natural squeamishness about having a pint or so of MY blood sucked out of my body. But I do on occasion wonder about all those really tasty meat pies and sausages I ate in Scotland. Was one of them carrying those nasty little prions?

2. My wife used to have a total cow fetish. Well, maybe it wasn't so much a cow fetish as some as yet unexplained cow paraphernalia attraction field. The way I understand it, she thought cows were pretty neat at one point, but at some point, she no longer sought out bovine knick knacks. Given her fairly widely known cow fancies, it took some time for people to get the hint that she no longer desired cute little cow-themed gifts.

Now here's the thing. I have started to acquire cow stuff. It started off innocently enough: Chik-Fil-A calendars, cow screen-savers, playing "HEY COW!!" from a moving car, responding to perplexing questions with a soulful moo... Though now I've started to receive the knick-knacks. For instance, I have a stunningly rendered resin cow that adorned my office birthday cake this year, and now guards the stack of unfiled papers on my desk.

Coincidence?

3. Skaggs has a cow story, which is kinda weird.

4. I wanna be a farmer. If I believed in reincarnation, I'd say that I was a farmer in my last life. I've really felt the lack of having a garden the last 2 summers that we've been in an apartment. The sense of satisfaction I get from tilling and preparing the soil and figuring out how I'm going to water it all is quite unlike any flavor of satisfaction I've ever tasted.

My daydreams often include gardens and orchards. I long for the pumpkin patch I'll have one day. When I'm really given over to a full-blown farmer fantasy, I've found a spring on a hillside, and I've dug out a terraced rice patty, complete with carp.

5. I'm becoming more and more convinced that population centers are bad. Not overtly out to get me, but certainly not healthy either. I am increasingly aware that I would like to be far away from population centers, and as self sufficient as I can be.

Now don't get me wrong, our level of technological sophistication, our economy (despite it's current woes), our government is still the best thing going... but it's not good for me.

Besides, when the zombie apocalypse comes, a city is the last place you want to be.

6.I think that I've always had a little tiny Luddite in me that wants to get out. Usually I just strap him into his little Clockwork Orange chair and turn on the Interweb.

I can't forget that he's there though... strapped pitifully into his chair.

My chances of actually being a Luddite are very slim, especially given that I'm a web developer.

Still, so I don't feel like an inhuman monster for keeping him confined, I'll heed him this once, therefore I must decline all your Facebook invitations.

Tagged by:
Mike

Tagging:
My wife
Lisa
Kathie
Kristin
Skaggs
David

Eats

This seems to be all the rage amongst the blogonauts, and maybe because I'm hungry, it rose to the top of the pile of my unfinished posts.

From the blog, Very Good Taste

"Here’s a chance for a little interactivity for all the bloggers out there. Below is a list of 100 things that I think every good omnivore should have tried at least once in their life. The list includes fine food, strange food, everyday food and even some pretty bad food - but a good omnivore should really try it all. Don’t worry if you haven’t, mind you; neither have I, though I’ll be sure to work on it. Don’t worry if you don’t recognise everything in the hundred, either; Wikipedia has the answers.

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results."


My results:

1. Venison (and antelope, elk, moose, caribou...)
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare (looking forward to this one)
5. Crocodile (had some of this that didn't agree with me, but I'd have it again)
6. Black pudding (Had this once in Scotland, but don't remember much about it - I'll have to try it again)
7. Cheese fondue (Apparently it's poor form to lick the bowl...)
8. Carp (does catfish count?)
9. Borscht (excellent entree for those discussion of bears and BSG)
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho - I would totally go for that.
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi (does curried cauliflower count?)
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses (anytime you want to mix brandy with cheese it can only be a good thing)
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes (best... tomato... ever...)
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese (after reading the wikipedia article, I'd actually like to try this)
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (from what I've read, this could help me cultivate an endorphin addiction)
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters (raw, smoked, barbecued, in soup... MMMMmmmm)
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda (Beth... why have we not had this?)
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi (I'd try that)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (I've had one or the other, but not together... guess I'm not that cool)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (I'd try this as part of some established cuisine)
43. Phaal (another dish I'd like to try - thanks Wikipedia)
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu (nah... everything I've read says it's a pretty bland dish - flirting with death by fish ought to be really tasty)
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear (I've always wanted to try this)
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone (fond memories of eating abalone that my dad brought back from scuba diving - yum)
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (I suppose I should try this... just so I can stay cool)
58. Beer above 8% ABV (Carlsberg Elephant... I think... memory's a bit fuzzy about this one)
59. Poutine (so THAT'S what it's called)
60. Carob chips (that's a really rotten thing to do to a kid)
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads (not specifically, but I have had some burritos with the same ingredients)
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (I keep telling Beth we ought to try this - she keeps asking me, "What's this 'we' stuff?")
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake (all of the above and more - deep fried twinkies y'all)
68. Haggis (Beth makes the best haggis I've ever had, and I lived in Scotland for a year. She's actually converted people with her haggis.)
69. Fried plantain (another thing I need to eat)
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette (I'd try it)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (eh... can't say I'm not curious about it)
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill (Can't say I haven't thought about how fresh the backstrap might be on that deer on the side of the road... but come on... BACKSTRAP)
76. Baijiu (this seems an awful lot like bathtub gin, or industrial moonshine... can't say that I'm in a hurry to try it)
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail (does escargot de la mer count?)
79. Lapsang souchong (I like smoky tea)
80. Bellini (this sounds better than a mimosa... and it's peach season right now!! - Beth...)
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef (I'd very much like to try this...)
86. Hare (does wabbit count?)
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse (supposedly the British burger joint Wimpys used horse in their burgers - if that's the case, then yes... and MMMMmmmm good.)
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam (do you hear singing?)
92. Soft shell crab (Had these in Annapolis - awesome)
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish (battered, deep fried, and yummy)
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake (I've had rattlesnake soup and barbecued rattlesnake - both pretty good)

Yes... Ninja Bears

That's a funny name for a blog...

Or is it?

Standard

I will no longer believe that my life has to be carried out in the shadow of the lies of the accuser.

I will take up my armor and sword and rally to the standard of The Kingdom of Heaven.

Rebellion to our Lord is my enemy - in whatever form it takes.